Chapter 9

You know those short questionnaire pages in the magazines where they ask famous people about what they are reading, what they are listening to, what they have in their bags…? How come I don’t get to answer such questions?

Well, yeah, obviously I’m not famous or anything… duh! ... But still? Wouldn’t it be fun? I mean, I know, no one out there in their right mind would probably be interested in what I have in my bag – except for a snatch thief, probably – but still, I bet even the most normal, boring, ratty looking old bag has a secret or two to share.

So, I have decided, that I will share. Call me whatever you want, but I will tell you what interesting (or boring) stuffs I have in my bag, and whatever other interesting things I can think of about me. And, you feel free to share too – interrupt anytime (in case I don’t have that many interesting stuffs in my bag…)! This little exercise will also give you something more about me to think about, apart from how flat my life’s been lately, or how sloppy I can get sometimes, and how clumsy and ga-ga I’ve been lately when I am around Ean… Ahem, right, lets not get sidetracked here. We all know what a distraction that subject can be!

So, enough small talk, let’s get started! (P/s: let’s pretend this is some absolutely glossy and glam magazine, like Cosmo or Vogue, ok? Well, it’s only pretend!)

What kind of bag are you carrying right now?

An army canvas bag, perfect for all occasion. … … Kidding! Gosh, I can’t afford a Coach or a Dior, and you know how I feel about spending three months pay on a bag which probably can only hold one miniscule hand phone and a tiny wallet and already have problem closing itself; but hey, I’m not that un-glam either!

For work, I’m using a large leather carry-all I bought from HOL during the recent Megasales. The quality is average, for I don’t need anything too expensive to bring to work. But I do love the design. The style is quite close to the super hot Balenciaga City Motorcycle bags; two toned, with funky rivets and buckles at the front, and a few long leather strings at each end of the bag to soften the look. I can fit everything I need in it.

What is the most interesting thing we will find in your bag?

Hm, that will have to be the so-called lucky charm Kaelyn gave me for X’mas last year. It’s a cross between a monster, a teddy bear and an octopus. It’s blue, and ugly as hell. But Lyn calls it cute. She also said that it has the powers of a guardian angel, “a guiding spirit who will show me the way, and bring me good fortune, enabling me to feel lucky, confident and contented.” I don’t know about luck, but I do think that anyone (or anything) would run the other way after one look at that ugly face!

What is the one thing you will splurge on?

Shoes shoes shoes! I always believe that you have to be comfortable on your feet. Nothing is worse than having blistered heels and squashed toes in the name of fashion. Comfort and style has to go hand in hand for me. I don’t believe in sacrificing my feet. Having said that, not all “comfortably fashionable” shoes come with a high price tag; not all expensive shoes are friendly to the feet either.

What is your favorite outfit of the moment?

Fortunately, or not, it’s not a smart looking corporate suit, though I do have quite a few nice ones hanging in the closet. But at this point in time, suits = stressful-times-at-work, so there’s no way they can be my favourite.

The combination I absolutely love at the moment is a turquoise baby doll dress I bought from Cats Whiskers. It is very girly, with lace trimmings along the neckline, short frilly sleeves and a flowy skirt which stops just above the knee.

For a laid back look, I team it with a pair of brown leather thong slippers and a large rattan shoulder bag. For a dressier ensemble, I wear it over jeans with strappy silver heels from Nine West, semi-precious green turquoise dangly earrings I got from the flea market at the Curve, silver bangles of various sizes, and a metallic turquoise clutch purse from Sg. Wang. I wore this to our department dinner a few weeks back and -

*ping*
You have an instant message from Kaelyn Yang:

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: helloooozzzz! wat u doing?

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: hmm, not much, just replying some mails. u? (Lyn will laugh her head off if she finds off what I’ve been doing in the past half an hour, so of course I’m not telling her!)

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: i see you’re telling the whole world about your upcoming company trip to Redang

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: *smile with tongue out* oh yeah! its definitely something worth shouting about!!

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: have you found your bikini yet? the trip is next week, isn’t it?

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: NO!! i’ve NOT found my bikini yet because SOMEONE ditched me and our weekend shopping plans, and went for a date instead!!! *broken heart*

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: *embarrassed smile* well…

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: btw how did it go? the date?

I sit back and wait for Lyn’s reply. This should be good. I am just about to click back to my “pretend interview” page when my hand phone starts to ring. Ean’s name blinks on the screen. Gawd, I hope this is not about the report I just threw on his desk before I rushed off. Today was one of the rare days where I left work on time.

“Hi Ean! What’s up?”

“I need to see you.” Just like that, no greeting; the usual teasing missing in his voice. He sounds all serious.

“Er, now?”

“Tu,” he pauses, and sighs, “I just – I don’t feel like being alone right now. Can we just talk? – as friends?”

What is he talking about? “Ean, we’ve always been friends, you know that! I –”

“I just signed the papers today, Tu. The divorce papers. It’s final now. It’s over, for real.”

“Oh Ean, are you ok?” What am I saying? Of course the poor guy is not ok! Duh!

“Is it alright if I drop by? Just for a while?” Then I hear a small smile in his voice. “I’ll bring supper?”
I smile, and hear myself agreeing. “Sure, come on over.”

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: oi! where u been? have i been chatting with myself the past hour?

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: don’t b such a drama, lyn, i was on the phone for only 2 minutes there.

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: oh with ur mom?

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: no it was ean.

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: wat he want?

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: he’s coming over – NOW!

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: WAT?!!! its 11pm! r u crazy tu?

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: his divorce just got finalized. he didn’t sound very good, lyn. he just didn’t want to b alone right now n i can understand that.

Kaelyn *life’s an eternal wonder* says: ok dun do anything stupid. i'm coming now.

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: wat? wat for?

Tutu *Destination Redang ~ ooh, can’t wait!* says: lyn???

Kaelyn Yang has logged off.

.......................................................................♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It is a very peaceful and quiet night. Even the wind has granted the city its gentle presence. The sky is clear, with a collection of stars competing against the brilliant glow of the metropolitan’s megawatt illumination.

In Mr and Mrs Sachiiya’s sweet scented garden, Ean, me and Kaelyn (in that order) sit on a large blanket over the grass, sipping lush, full-bodied Merlot, compliments of Ean (his idea of supper!) and munching on barbeque flavored chips (compliments of my tidbits collection). We talk about nothing, and everything. As cliché as it will sound, words are not important.

We are just three people linked to each other in some way or another, sharing bottles of wine, and exchanging silly stories which get sillier as more wine is consumed. Silently, as if by unspoken agreement, we seem to be also healing wounds, offering comfort and support, building bonds and coming to new understandings.

It’s quite beautiful, actually.

Even Lyn has stopped treating Ean like he is the enemy. Or maybe it’s just the alcohol at work?

Chapter 8

From: julianne.npt@sd.com
To: tutu.t@sd.com
Sent: Tuesday, 25 July 2006
Subject: While I’m Away

Tutu,
Please look into and/or follow up on the followings while I’m away on vacation. Any problem just contact Ean or Mei Lin.

1. Meeting with Mr. Tan from BKL, Tuesday, 1 Aug, 10am @ BKL office – present proposed Investment Plan – the binder is on my table.
2. Meeting with Dr. Rosa-Mary, Tuesday, 1 Aug, 2pm @ her office on Jln. Ampang – hand over the merger documents.
3. Have discussion with Ean regarding the D&C case, and compile report.
4. Finalize the Lee & Partners report by Friday, 4 Aug.
5. Assist Mei Lin with MMP’s franchising licenset, to be submitted in by … … …
6. Start on … … …
7. Call … … …
8. …
9.
10.
…
…
…

Thanks sweets! I’ll get you some souvs from Bali! Will miss you!

Regards,
Julianne Ng
Senior Legal Assistant
SD & Co.



“You look lost.”

I look up from my monitor screen to find Ean perching at the edge of the desk opposite mine. The desk is unoccupied, and my files and binders have somehow spilled over to cover half of the surface. It’s no surprise, considering how much I have to do. It’s a wonder no one has sounded me yet about tidying up the mess. But I really should straighten up the mess a bit. What is that saying, about a neat work station leading to higher work productivity?

Agh, what-ever.

I turn back to Ean. He’s looking smart, as usual. Today’s combination is black trousers team with a lavender-colored shirt and purple and silver stripe tie. I don’t know many guys who look good in lavenders.

I glance down at my wrinkled grey Zara skirt. Ugh, let’s not go there.

“I have good reason to be lost.” I say to Ean while swiveling the monitor screen towards him. He scans through it thoughtfully before giving a short laugh, shakes his head and gives my hand a squeeze.

“Tu, relax! All of us received the same email! Jules probably just changed our names around and send it to each of us.” At my mouth-open stare, he squeezes my hand again. “C’mon, it’s lunch time. The others are going to Madam Kwan’s. Do you want to join them, or would you like to spend some quiet time with me?”

I look around to make sure no one heard his outrageous remark, before slapping him on the thigh. He didn’t even flinch, the insufferable flirt!

Pushing away from the desk, I reach for my bag and say to him. “I am grabbing a bite at O’briens, and then I’m going to browse the bookshop. You can spend your quiet time with anyone you choose.” And then I walk out the office without looking back.

I need a break. I know I keep saying that, but I really need a break. Why can’t I be the one flying off to Bali for two weeks, and do nothing but spend my days on the beach with a good book, and my nights with a good man (if they really do exist!). This past month, I feel myself perching at the edge. I can, and will, fall off very soon. The only thing holding me together now is – is…? What? I don’t even know. I truly am losing it!!

“Hey, wait, check this out!”

I didn’t realize Ean is following behind me until he grabs my arm and stops me from walking out the door.

“Wh- ?”

I almost lost my balance, being so absorbed in my going-over-the-edge thoughts and all. The tip of my heel slips off the polished granite of the reception area, and I feel myself starting my oh-so-ungraceful descend onto the cold hard floor, right there, at the entrance of our office, for all to see. Ta-da!!

But I never hit the floor.

As smoothly as only Ean is able to manage, he slips his arm around my waist and catches me even before I start calling “Mummy!” – something which sort of happens in auto-pilot mode, whenever I go into a sudden panic, like now. Hm, how girlish, I know, but really, it’s an unconscious habit; the remnants of my childhood, when, as­ a little girl, I would call out for my mom whenever there was a problem.

But mummy won’t be able to help me this time. Here I am, sort of at a 45 degree angle to the floor, with one leg in mid air (the one responsible for me slipping in the first place), my bag dangling lopsided off my shoulder, and my arms flaying at my side ‘cos I am not sure where to put them – to grab on to Ean’s muscular biceps, or wind themselves helplessly around his neck? Oh, I really am not trying to play “Gone with the Wind” at the office reception, but, boy, what a picture we must make!
And it is, without question, that there is the “eye thing” happening. You know, when a man and a woman end up in this unexpected position that they will spend a breathless hour or two staring into each others eyes. And the entire world disappears as they become aware only of each other, sinking into the depths…

What is happening!?

I quickly straighten myself, put my midair-hanging feet firmly back onto the ground, grab the straps of my bag and hold on to them with both hands (just to keep them busy), then take three big steps backwards, away from Rhett, I mean Ean. Oh god, why am I panting for air? Nothing happened! Nothing!

“You ok?”

Mm hm, I manage a nod.

“You sure?” Is that laughter in his eyes?

I nod again. That’s all I can do, stupidly enough.

Then he shrugs, oh so casually, and turns to the notice board next to the reception desk. It is then I finally notice the poster with the words “Annual Holiday” stamped across the top. Next to the text is the image of a coconut tree, white sand, a cruise ship, blue sky and even bluer water. Hey, that looks like my holiday!

“It says here that it’ll be taking place during National Day’s week, and it’s for all staffs from the ‘Corporate-Commercial’ and the ‘Finance-Property’ departments. That’s us! I heard some of the secretaries talking about it this morning, but didn’t realize it’s happening so soon.” He turns to me, who am still standing stupidly behind him, “something to look forward to, huh?”

I manage a smile. “Hm, yeah, definitely.”

Ean nods in agreement, and, after another glance at the poster, tilts his head towards the door.

“Shall we?”

“Huh?”

I receive a questioning look. “Lunch? You wanted to grab a sandwich on the way to the bookshop, right?”

“Oh ya. Of course. Sure.”

“Lets go then.”

“Ya. Ok.”

Ya. So Intelligent, Tutu!